Can You Share A Dorm With The Opposite Sex? (Find Out)
Staying in a college apartment or dorm is a massive change in someone’s life. It’s a time as such when You’re about to be your person, decide when you sleep, when you eat, when you go to class when you come home, and pretty much everything else.
One of the more considerable changes in college life is coed living. Let’s explore if college roommates of the opposite gender are allowed, and if so, how to handle it, so if you are interested in knowing if you can share a dorm with the opposite sex, maybe a female friend, girlfriend, fiancé, or sister, here is a piece of writing for you.
Most colleges do not allow sharing of dorms with the opposite sex, although all colleges have their particular regulations regarding sharing of dorms with or without the opposite sex.
Some schools such as Brown University, the University of Pennsylvania, Oberlin College, Clark University, and the California Institute of Technology, allow some or all students to share a room with anyone they choose including someone of the opposite sex.
Currently speaking, the way it worked a few years ago in some countries was that the gender of a baby was based on the sex that was assigned to the baby at birth by the parents, which ironically meant that it was super common for men and women to room together (with one being trans).
To guide your decision on if you can dorm with the opposite sex, here are a couple of questions most college students do ask.
Are You Allowed to Room with a Person of the Opposite Gender in the Dorms?
The short answer is most likely yes. Nowadays, it’s becoming more common to incorporate coed living into student housing policies. The first significant change was beginning to allow men and women to share the same dorm floor in a building.
But now, colleges are allowing men and women to share rooms, as well. Here are some general expectations:
- If you already have a roommate in mind, your university likely has a roommate matching system to allow you to end up together.
- If you don’t have anyone in mind, it’s more likely that you will be placed in a room with a member of the same gender.
- If your college does roommate matching, they might ask you to check a box as to whether or not you care about rooming with someone of the opposite gender.
- Some private schools may have stricter rules for rooming boys and girls together, as private schools have more rights to enforce particular policies than public schools.
Do Most college dorms have a common room?
Generally, most dorms do have a common room, the common room is a place assigned to receive visitors, the common rooms are usually large depending on the school and it has a regulated time of visit. You might be likely not allowed to visit the opposite sex after 10 pm depending on the dorms, sometimes the common room has securities officers guiding and monitoring the activities the of the students at the common room, especially the school that discourages coed living or dorming with the opposite sex
Are Guys Allowed In Girl Dorms?
If you are staying in a girls-only dorm, you might be wondering what to expect. Are guys allowed in girl dorms?
While each dorm has its own set of rules, generally, guys are allowed in girl dorms, as long as they do not stay overnight. In some cases, you can request permission to have someone of the opposite gender stay overnight, but this is up to the RA.
There are many reasons why a guy might need to be allowed into a girl’s dorm, whether it is for a study group or just as a support system, and often this is fine.
Is It Illegal To Dorm With The Opposite Gender?
It is the most common practice that members of opposite genders are not allowed to share a dorm. This isn’t necessarily illegal, but it will be outlined in dorm rooms and is not an accepted practice.
How far this rule is taken will depend on the dorm and residence. While it is not the norm at most colleges, there are co-ed student residences. This does not mean that the dorm rooms are co-ed, but rather that the building is.
The residence will be divided into different sections and different floors, which are dedicated to either males or females.
However, some dorms have males and females living together across from each other, or next door to each other. They might even have co-ed bathrooms! It is important to find out all of this information beforehand, to decide if you would be comfortable in that living situation or not.
Can Someone Stay With You In Your Dorm?
In most cases, dorm rooms are shared rooms, and you will have a roommate. This is to save on housing costs and space, and also offers students a support system in their first year.
If you are on your own in your dorm room, or even if you have a roommate, you might want someone to stay over now and then.
Most colleges do allow guests to stay overnight, only religious schools have strict rules regarding this.
You will most likely have to get permission from your RA when you want someone to stay overnight, and their details might have to be recorded, for security reasons. There might also be concerns about your fellow roommates or neighbors not being comfortable with a guest of the opposite gender, so it is better to speak to them about it first.
There is quite a bit of freedom afforded to college students in dorm rooms, and this does mean that you can usually have guests overnight, but as you are living in a communal space, there will be rules to follow to protect everyone who lives there, so make sure to find these out first.
Are College Dorms Curfews against the coed living?
College dorm curfews are a thing of the past, with most colleges now not imposing any curfews on their students. You are in an adult environment and are expected to care for yourself as best you can.
Most dorms now have security at the entrance, where you might have to use a keycard to sign in and out, and these are fine to be used at any time of the night. As long as you have your key or keycard ready, you can come home at any time you like.
Some college dorms do have a curfew in place, but these might be more military-based colleges or religious colleges. Once again, find out this information before going off to live in a dorm room, just so you know what to expect before arriving.
Are You Allowed To Have Overnight Guests In Dorms?
You are allowed to have overnight guests in dorms at most colleges, but some might not allow for it. To keep everyone safe, you do usually need to ask for permission to have an overnight guest, and their details might have to be recorded.
However, with dorms becoming more open to the idea of co-ed living, this isn’t being as enforced as much as it used to be, and there is more freedom of who can stay in your dorm overnight. There does need to be some type of regulation though, to ensure that you do not gain an extra roommate who doesn’t pay their dorm fees.
Some people do feel safer living in a dorm where overnight guests are restricted, as you would not want unknown people living in your house back home overnight.
You need to decide what you are comfortable with and try to look for a dorm that accommodates this. For first-year students, living in a dorm with a bit more restrictions might be more comfortable and reassuring, but this is totally up to you.
Can someone Get Gender-Neutral Dorms?
Some colleges are introducing gender-neutral dorm rooms, where students can choose to room with a member of the opposite sex. While this is being included in more dorms, generally most students choose the dorm with a member of the same sex.
However, having gender-neutral dorms does help those who want more freedom to feel more comfortable, and it does give more options to students.
Whether or not you are comfortable with gender-neutral dorms is something you will need to decide for yourself, and there are always options to room with the same sex if that is what you prefer.
How Strict Are College Dorms?
How strict a dorm is will depend on the college itself. You might have some dorms at the same college that are stricter than others. While some of these rules might feel oppressive, usually it is from a place of protecting the students who live there.
To avoid feeling uncomfortable in your living situation, make sure to read up on the rules of the dorm you are considering, just to make sure it is an environment where you would feel comfortable and safe.
Other schools may have LGBTQ-friendly policies that welcome non-binary or gender-nonconforming students to live in the dorms without worrying about fitting into a strict category.
How to best dorm with the Opposite Sex
Speaking of a school where they allow the opposite sex to dorm together, as someone who has lived with plenty of roommates or the opposite sex as a dorm mate, I find it necessary to share best practices depending on how comfortable you and your roommates are with each other. It’s best to proceed with caution until you know where your relationships stand.
Keep Things Platonic
Let’s get this one out of the way first. No matter how attractive your roommate may be, avoid dating each other. That way, things won’t get messy. Your home is supposed to be your sanctuary, so if drama gets between you and your roommate (especially if it’s romance-related), you’ll be more stressed than necessary.
Make Some Ground Rules Early On
Never stereotype any person but have set your rules and standard, If you’re rooming with someone of the opposite gender, it’s best to stay covered up as you walk through your apartment. Don’t assume that your roommate is okay with you strutting around in your underwear.
Don’t Be Afraid to Speak Up
If something isn’t working out, remember that you should do your best to resolve the issue. Don’t assume that your roommate is trying to make you feel uncomfortable. This living situation is new for everyone. Plus, you are an adult now, so conflict resolution is critical.
If It Doesn’t Work Out, Move On
If you’ve tried your best to make things work when living with someone of the opposite sex, but it’s not working out, that’s okay. Now you know that perhaps you should make a notice to the appropriate school authority or take a different direction next year.